1. Sing a song of Ssangyong

Ssangyong has struggled to get into second gear in the United Kingdom – and so does the Kyron I’m given the opportunity to drive.

2. Spend a penny

It's hard to put a price on feeling smug but I know that the self-satisfied smile on my face is costing me exactly one pence per mile.

3. Superb lives up to its name

The joke’s well and truly over for Skoda – now it’s aiming for the last laugh when it comes to luxury rivals.

4. Swift by name and nature

Say the word Suzuki and most people will still imagine Manga-style thrills and spills on a motorcycle.

5. Funky fun for the school run

The Koleos might sound like the bad punchline from a joke about cauliflower and chaos, but it’s actually Renault’s recent entry into the burgeoning market for school-run off-roaders.

It goes head-to-head with cars such as the Ford Kuga, VW Tiguan and Peugeot 4007 – all designed for families who like the chunky superiority of Range Rover-esque road-goers but lack the financial wherewithal to either buy them or fill them up.

6. This is a journey to avoid

Our unique relationship with the United States of America has been even more biased than the referees at Manchester United games of late.

7. Porsche doesn’t disappoint

This is the Porsche which proper men aren’t supposed to like, but I couldn’t get enough of it.

8. Save money on your car

9. The legendary 500 returns

There are few things as a grown up which inspire the same giddy excitement of a child flicking through a catalogue for that next birthday gift, but the arrival of the new Fiat 500 is one of them.

10. Oooh, I do like you!